So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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