question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
