I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
