We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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