i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
