Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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