I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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