The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
