we have pet lesbian snakes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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