I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize