and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We are two peas in an std pod
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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