I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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