We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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