My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize