porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
