piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize