Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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