is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
