I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
