My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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