drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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