oh god the rape fog is back!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am naked and annoyed.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
