You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
