Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
