he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I won the penis lottery.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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