My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
