he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
