im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
