you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize