White coat. Heels.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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