Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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