I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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