Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
