I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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