O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
