My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
