We're facebook friends in real life
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
