Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
