PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize