I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
