butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
