I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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