I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
