I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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