Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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