she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
