just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
