i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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