she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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