Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
