Christians are straight up FREAKS
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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