Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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