he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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