He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
