Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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