return my video game
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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