mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize