Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize