Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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