i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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