just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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