The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
