I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
