This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
